hi i'm 32 and i'm pretty sure i'm gay.  I have always had secret desires to be with my best friend.  I have a male partner and 2 kids, 4and 8.  I have asked my partner to leave so many times and told him i don't desire him but he won't leave.  We have NOT had sex in 3 years and i don't miss it.  

We have had such a rocky relationship that i'm afraid that he will call me names and tell people i'm a freak.  I live in a small Iowa rural town -- not a pretty picture.  I think that someday he will just leave but he hasn't.  
Probally won't leave either.

When i see two women together my heart skips a beat. I get so worked up thinking about a real sexy relationship with a woman.  I pray that i will find what i'm looking for.  Thanks for listening.