Coming Out Age 45

I have known since about the age of 7 that I different to other girls,
 I had a serious crush on my best friend at junior school, not just I 
really liked her but I remember being so upset if she did not attend school, 
yet I had other friends that it was ok if they were not there, I did not 
realize what the difference was until may be 15 when I knew but would not 
admit that I was a lesbian, I have had boyfriends, but always choose, weedy 
needy boys, whom I liked but never loved, I have never had sex with a man, 
the thought of it never appealed, but I have fancied girls, I have tried to 
commit suicide, I have had eating disorder which I still have to control 
(it is a control thing) I have spent my whole life trying not to be me, 
because I felt so uncomfortable about being a lesbian, but now I have come out 
to a friend, well she was not a friend when I met her a month ago, I had only 
known her for about one week when she said to me "I think you are the
same gender as my daughter!", I felt the ground move beneath me, my thoughts 
swimming in my head, I wanted to run, but my legs would not let me move. 
I tried so hard to deny this but could not say the words, I shook my head 
overted my eyes and prayed that I was dreaming, but alas no, she told me it was ok! 
she had known from almost the moment we met, I told her that she was right but 
I was not out to anyone that also kinda included me, as I was realy not comfortable 
with my sexuality. She and her husband talked about their gay daugther and made 
everything seem so normal, that I began to feel normal the feelings that I have were ok,
I have since come out to my dad, but can not tell my sister yet, but I hope that 
one day I will, I have not met anyone yet as I have only just started to find places 
that I can meet women like me, I have found a new confidence in the last three 
weeks that I have never had before I feel I have started to live my life my way.  
I can not thank my friend enough for seeing the lost soul inside of me and setting 
me free.  Today I start my life as anormal lesbian woman, and maybe tomorrow I will 
find a woman to love who will love me for who and not what I am.