Coming Out Age: 37

I cannot remember being physically attracted to other girls as a child or teenager, 
only that I didn't go thru that boycrazy stage that most of my friends did. 

I met my husband to be at 18 and married him at 23, he was a control freak just like 
my Father had been, we had children and I just struggled to keep an abusive marriage together. 

At age 37 I realised that I had fallen in love with a close friend, I wanted her in everyway 
possible but knowing her stance on gays, I decided to keep the friendship rather than take 
a chance and lose her. I continued to live my life thru my forties, aware of my feelings, 
but chosing not to let myself think about them except on a subconcious level. 

When I was 55 I met a woman on an online Forum for a paritcular subject we were both 
interested in. I was attracted to her style of writing, her wit and in your face attitude 
and we began emailing privately. A few months later she told me she was Gay, had been all 
her life and that if I was uncomfortable about continuing our friendship which had become 
intensely close and emotionally open that she would understand. All I could feel was 
relief and began actively flirting with her. She lived in another country but I managed 
to meet her for a few weeks some 4 months later. 

I was a nervous wreck and could not believe that I was flying halfway around the world to 
meet some strange woman, 12 years older than me. From the moment our eyes met I knew this was it. 
Everything about our relationship is easy, we communicate, we laugh, we read each other's minds 
and the sex, well nothing has ever seemed so natural, normal and right to me before. I remember 
thinking as I drifted off to sleep in her arms that very first night "this is what it is 
supposed to be like, now I finally get it".

We have many obstacles in the way of us living the rest of our lives togdether and the fallout 
from family and friends has been horrific, but I have never regretted for one second the step I took.