Coming Out Age: 36

I'm not even sure if I am completely out to myself at this point. I still think 
I might be bi. But at age 36, I am finally realizing I think I am gay. I have 
thought about girls since I was very young, even encouraging my best friend next 
door to do "naughty" things with me at a very young age. I would look at "girly" 
magazines or think about girls to get turned on, even if I was physically with a 
man. I was probably with more men than the average girl, looking for acceptance 
or trying to feel wanted. I had sex with so many guys that I regret. I had a 2 
drunken episodes with a girl friend in college, and even though I knew she was 
just doing it for fun, I wanted more. I finally thought I found true love and 
got married to a man at 28. We divorced when I was 34 for a lot of reasons. I 
recently had a "real" relationship with a girl I met at work. While the relationship 
did not work out, she did make me realize I finally can admit  I am gay and want 
to find the woman of my dreams. I've been waiting for this my whole life, I only 
hope I can now find a woman to make my dreams come true.