Coming out age:  30

well here goes...
i havent "officially" came out yet. im 30, married and
 a mother of 2. i have known for most of my life that
 i've been attacted to women. i married my husband when
 i was 19, and soon after we had our children. in my
 early 20's i told my husband that i like women. he took
 it quite well. i've been with a few women with my
 husband there too. i figured...might as well take it how
 i can get it. i havent been with a woman in a while
 now. i call myself a non-practicing bi. i dont know what
 to do with myself these days. im starting to think i
 would be fully happy with myself if i could be...i
 dont know. thats the problem, you see? i DONT know. do i
 throw away a decade of marriage and my family, and be
 selfish? or do i deal with my emotions and play house?
 i do love my husband so so much, but, im in love with
 someone else too. i wish i could put my life on
 pause, and jump to another life. a life with her. it just
 seems too hard to deal with. who knows though. maybe
 one year....