Coming Out Age: 46


Story:

I moved in with the man that would become my husband
 of nearly 30 years when I was only 16 years old.  I
 think I always knew that I was doing what I was "supposed
 to do."  We got married had a child and raised him.
  But when I hit 44, it was not enough to be home day
 after day in a passion-less marriage.  I wanted some
 excitement.  I'm ashamed to admit it, but I started
 trolling the internet for a lover.  As I read more about
 other people's interest, the idea of being with a woman
 began to grow very inticing.    I could not have
 planned any better what happened next.

My mother had passed away years earlier, and my
 brother and I handled the estate.  My brother was living in
 the family home.  He needed to buy me out of the
 property or sell it.  But he was so emotional about our
 former home he couldn't bear to leave.  I gave him some
 time to make the necessary arrangements, but he dragged
 his feet.
e3
I never wanted to sue my brother to get him to close
 the estate.  Finally I had to do something. My threats
 of a lawsuit resulted in a phone call from a female
 attorney.

  There was something about her voice that caught me
 off guard.  It made it impossible to focus on her words
 and the "settlement talk" she was proposing. Instead,
 my mind drifted away with her voice into the world of
 fantasy I imagined of what it would be like to be
 with a woman.  It brought to mind the fantasies I had as
 a teen touching another woman.

  After receiving her call, intrigued I spoke with my
 brother to inquire about his lawyer "friend."  He was
 well-acquainted with the woman.  In fact he thought we
 were both so much alike that he felt that we would be
 life-long friends if given the chance.

After a few months issues were resolved and I had to
 meet with this attorney.  When we met the attraction
 was the strongest I had ever felt with anyone.  Yet, I
 was shy and unable to give her any indication of my
 desire for her.  I learned later that my brother had
 tipped my hand a bit to tell her of my attraction.  He
 indicated that she was flattered and curious.  Apparently
 she was currently unhappily married, and had
 previously been in a relationship with a woman for seven
 years.  Despite every indication that her response would be
 positive, I could not tell her anything as we shared
 a final brunch together, on the day I was to leave to
 return home.

When I got home, my sense of longing and attraction
 were unbearable.  I had to say something to her.  So I
 wrote her an e-mail.  Imagine my surprise when she said
 she opened the door to me.  She came to visit me
 where I lived.  We spent our first night together, the
 first of what would become many. Our love for each other
 blossomed.  

After about six months, we moved in together.  We have
 been living together now for a year.  We have built a
 happy loving home.  The passion for each other grows
 stronger ever day.  She tells me that she has never
 been more in love with anyone.  I have to admit that I
 feel the same.

Lesbian or not, I'm not so concerned about the labels,
 but what I do know is that I'm in love with a woman
 and I am a woman.